Back to the land of wakha,
shkoon, khssni, and bzzef! Those
words that lie in concrete in my brain, sharing bunks with all of my fossilized
errors. Maybe I can bring them back to life so I can kill them. And then
fossilize them dead.
In Amman there are no old guys sitting on haystacks looking
out into the distance. On the train through Morocco heading north, there are
tons of them. It’s useless to keep score. Morocco will always win. For “Tangier
Take 5: Case Closed” I’m throwing projects out the window, and all I intend to
do is sit and stare at the sea and try to understand the conversations
happening around me.
O, how the tables have turned!
I once yearned for a space where no one knew me or knew my
last name and where I could sit and write about the funny things around me like
chickens wandering around cemeteries and cats climbing ladders.
But it is a new era and I should just be thankful that I am
not “lost in a gutter somewhere” as my mother so lovingly puts it. But Mom, I find some of my best things in gutters!
Scribbled notes.
Little baggies.
Doll heads.
Scribbled notes.
Little baggies.
Doll heads.
I didn’t expect the hijab to make such a marked difference
in my public presence but it is truly a whole new world out there. I have not been
harassed at all with one exception, and even his delivery was so sincere it was
more like he felt bad for me. In fact, most strangers have been overly nice to
me and I suspect it is because they think I am a Syrian refugee. Sometimes they ask me if
I am and I don’t deny it.
And Tangier is taking good care of me.
Swaddled in 30 Dirham wool pajamas, I wake up to pancakes every morning, which I buy from the shop before the sunset prayer each night and put them
in my purse for safe keeping.
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